You’ll have gathered if you’ve read this column for any length of time that I rather enjoy a quirky survey, and luckily the good folk at Muller Bliss have come up with the goods this week, listing some of life’s ‘little luxuries’ that all enjoy.
We apparently enjoy a touch of luxury on average five times a month, and almost half of those questioned (46%) said they felt they didn’t have enough time to add luxury to their lives. Let’s look at the top ten in reverse order...
10 - Ad-free streaming. I quite enjoy watching the adverts when I’m at the cinema. I’m pretty fastidious at fast forwarding them, however, when watching TV on catch-up. My wife doesn’t seem to mind sitting through them, but you can save a good ten minutes on the average Channel 5 show!
9 - An after-dinner treat. Are we talking a naughty pudding? Be careful if you’re tucking into sweet stuff too late at night, as some Canadian boffins have concluded that eating desserts is even more likely than cheese to induce ‘vivid, disturbing, bizarre or lucid dreams’, with dairy coming in second place and fruit third. The research was published in the journal Frontiers In Psychology. If they need someone to scoff custard donuts, trifle, and tiramisu before getting a bit of shut-eye, I can be available at short notice.
8 - A robot vacuum cleaner. They seem to vary wildly in price, but I’ll stick with my pink Hetty, thanks anyway.
7 - A TV show with no ads. I’ve identified a fundamental problem with ‘no ads’ being a benchmark of quality viewing... Mrs Brown’s Boys is on the BBC, and is commercial free. On balance, I’d rather swim with hungry piranhas than watch a full episode.
6 - Good quality skincare. I do have a rather extensive collection of face mists and moisturisers. As I approach the tail end of my 40s, I need all the help I can get to stave off the wrinkles!
5 - Grocery delivery. I’ve made a few references to our irritating neighbours in the past, and there have been no ramifications, so I think I’m safe in saying their constant stream of supermarket delivery vans, and the inevitable yapping of their dog, puts me off getting ours delivered to the door. I enjoy a trip to the shops anyway, although going to do the food shop when hungry results in a lot of random items falling into the trolley. I’m also a keen watcher of prices, and am convinced the real rate of inflation is far higher than the published figure, purely based on the soaring price of coffee, chocolate and bubble bath.
4 - Next day delivery. Granted, it’s a nice luxury to have, but only when it’s free. I’d much rather wait a few days and dodge a delivery charge. Call me cheeseparing if you like. Now that we are in full ‘saving for our mortgage’ mode, I’ve stopped a lot of my superfluous shopping, so I imagine our local couriers have a bit more time on their hands.
3 - Good quality coffee. This is my number one little luxury in life, and I firmly believe life is too short to drink disappointing coffee. I have two coffee machines at home, and would give up sourdough bread, craft beer, Haribo Starmix and soaks in the bath before handing over my last pack of coffee pods. Having done seven and a half years of breakfast shows, I think I’ve just about mastered the balance between sleep deprivation and caffeine dependency.
2 - High speed internet. I am old enough to remember the early days of dial-up internet, and things have certainly got a lot better since my mid-90s university days. If you have friends round for dinner, if they immediately ask you for the Wi-Fi password, I’d take that as a sign that they find your company quite dull. I’m really making an effort not to sit gazing at my phone screen when with friends and family. When did that stop being socially unacceptable?
And the number 1 ‘little luxury’ is peace and quiet! In a world full of smartphone notifications, I can go along with that. Sometimes, just being in the moment is enough. A nice walk in the countryside without your phone (and maybe even without a selfie posted on Facebook!). No doom scrolling, no shouty politicians, and no clickbait news. I’m going to put the kettle on and read the rest of this newspaper with a brew. Perfect.
Alex Cann Column - 18-06-26 - Mutton Dressed As Language Police
Alex Cann's weekly blog - 9th January
