Life’s relatively minor inconveniences feature in a new survey by Sky Broadband, and whilst there are some commendable entries into the top ten when it comes to irritating waits for stuff, some of them definitely fall into the category of ‘first world problems’.
• Waiting for something to download or update (25%) - whilst this is undeniably irksome, I’m not sure it’s as bad as the days of dial-up internet when I first started university. Waiting for a single page to load was more than sufficient time to nip to the paper shop and buy a red Bounty, or stick the kettle on. As for the days of the Spectrum 48K with its rubber keys, loading games via cassette took an absolute age.
• Film or television show buffering part-way through (25%) - my solution to this would be to watch films at the cinema, but I can appreciate it would be quite annoying if you’re just about to find out who shot JR, and the show buffers.
• Waiting for or missing a delivery (28%) - I wrote recently about the explosion in single-use carrier bags being largely down to online food shopping, and one retailer in particular that uses a lot of automation in the packing of their orders. We have all got too used to stuff arriving within moments of clicking the order button, and perhaps we are too far down the road to do a U-turn. I’m always baffled when I see Golden Arches orders going into orange bags for delivery by moped, as the fries are barely lukewarm when they are passed through my car window half of the time.
• Pedestrian traffic (e.g. people taking up a whole path or someone stopping in the middle of a pavement) and slow walkers (33%) - as an ambler, I have no objection to the new ‘fast lanes’ that have popped up in Leeds and Glasgow recently, enabling speedy walkers to navigate through busy crowds. 44% support the introduction of pedestrian express lanes, apparently. As long as I can keep sauntering, that’s fine by me.
• Queuing (33%) - I thought Brits loved joining a queue! The last one I was in featured stunning flowers all around it, as it was at the Autumn Flower Show at beautiful Newby Hall near Ripon. My days of queuing for rollercoasters are probably behind me. Folk queueing for the latest iPhone baffle me, but each to their own. I bet my Motorola’s battery lasts longer.
• Slow service in any capacity (34%) - I used to find trying to get the bill at restaurants took an age, but now the cost of eating out has soared and most of us use apps to settle the bill anyway, it’s not as much of an issue trying to politely attract a member of staff’s attention by scribbling in the air (the universal sign of requesting the bill). Rude service is far worse in my book than unrushed service, and perhaps the conclusion of this survey is that we all race through life a bit too much sometimes.
• Slow or bad drivers (37%) - two very different things. Middle lane driving on the M60, not indicating, or tailgating are far worse than someone doing 55-60pm on the motorway (which I frequently do to conserve diesel). I do think perhaps everyone should be retested every 10 years, as having driven since passing my third driving test in 1995, I’m pretty sure I’ve picked up a number of bad habits. Spare a thought for Luke Littler, who has just passed his theory test on the seventh attempt!
• Slow or buffering internet (41%) -broadband speeds vary wildly, and a recent survey by Which? revealed it’s relatively easy to switch. Fibre is more reliable, and could even save you money in the long term.
• Transport delays (42%) - I’m very well versed on the Delay Repay scheme which governs our creaky train system. It’s pretty easy to claim back compensation, but I guess a lot don’t bother for relatively small amounts. As my mum used to say, if you look after the pennies, the pounds look after themselves! There is nothing worse than being sat in traffic, though. You can literally feel the seconds dragging by. It’s an advantage of starting work at 6am that I rarely encounter queues.
The biggest omission in the survey is surely the last minute of the washing machine cycle. It’s the biggest lie going. Other annoying waits not covered include waiting for traffic lights to change, and being on hold listening to chintzy music.
Alex B Cann column - 27th November
Alex Cann's weekly blog - 9th January
