Sofas and holidays are the subject of this week’s superfluous frippery, beginning with the startling revelation that it’s over 20 years since Tom Cruise jumped up and down on Oprah Winfrey’s sofa, ecstatically declaring his love for Katie Holmes.
A study by Febreze has established the main five sofa rules, and Cruise fell foul of the first two when he expressed his unbridled joy on telly.
1. No shoes on the sofa (52%). We are in the process of trying to buy our first home at the moment, and I’ve definitely decided it’s going to be a ‘shoes off at the door, or leave’ type of house. Keep your muck away from my soft furnishings, thank you. An overwhelming, Brexit-tastic 52 per cent agree with this rule.
2. No jumping (41%). Aside from declaring your love to a chat show host, or celebrating when the BBC finally announces it’s not recommissioning a new series of Mrs Brown’s Boys, I doubt this rule would need to be enforced very often.
3. No dirty clothes while sitting there (32%). Two thirds of people have no issue with mucky clothes on their sofa? I demand a recount!
4. Leave the sofa as you found it (throws and cushions neat) (23%). It’s a fact that, whether or not you reckon soft furnishings add to the aesthetic value of your home, they don’t add a single jot of comfort. Straight on the floor go the cushions. However, leaving them there is definitely rude. Much like a radio studio, leave it as you found it.
5. No pets on it (21%). This is the only rule I disagree with. Colin Cann, our cat, agrees that it’s a little mean-spirited to deny pets the comfort of curling up on the sofa. The fact he often prefers to jump into a cardboard box once I’ve unpacked my latest impulse buy from Amazon is by the by.
Leaving behind the comfort of the sofa, two-thirds of Brits say they need regular getaways to stay happy and positive, and the majority (57 per cent) say holidays are the highlight of their year. According to research conducted by Vueling, holidaymakers don’t feel truly relaxed until 10am on day six of a break. Whilst my holiday high as a kid used to be finding all the new radio stations I’d never heard before, these are the five highs listed in the survey.
1. Stepping off the plane and feeling the heat hit you (45%). Whilst this is undeniably ace, I didn’t enjoy it so much when leaving the Tameside Reporter’s office during the recent heatwave. Intense heat is great when your only decision is whether to order another beer or go for a swim, but 20c is more than hot enough for me when I have stuff to do. The recent cooler autumn days have been heavenly.
2. Going for evening strolls (38%). Especially after eating too much from the all-you-can-eat buffet. It’s doubly advantageous, as it makes your evening meal calorie-neutral, plus you might catch a nice sunset over the beach.
3. The first sip of a cocktail after a day of sunbathing (31%). I think going abroad is the only time I really fancy a cocktail, especially when you’re in a resort that ‘free pours’ and pays scant attention to measures. Please drink responsibly.
4. Sitting on the beach watching the sun go down (31%). This can even be magical in the UK. Our fave spot is Staithes, a fishing village to the north of Whitby. A fossil-hunting walk on the beach a couple of years ago is probably the furthest I’ve walked in years, and we had to clamber up a muddy clifftop path as the tide started to go in, guided by a rope. By my lazy standards, this was pretty full on adventure mode!
5. Getting dressed for dinner (37%). Not sure I’ve ever got excited about putting clothes on, but each to their own.
Also in the top ten, feeling the first blast of air con after a day at the beach, tasting the local cuisine (got to love those ex-pats in Spain who live on egg and chips, and don’t speak a word of the local lingo), and people watching while drinking a coffee in a cafe.
One recommendation for your next holiday - switch your phone off and don’t take it with you. No work E-mails or ranty social media for a week beat any of those items in the top five for my money.
