‘I had a special bank account to pay for way too many snacks’: Work from home dad’s ‘self loathing and shame’ as binge eating disorder took hold

Carl, from Glossop, has now spoken of his experience of years of struggling with binge eating and has thanked a local mental health service for changing his life.

To everyone else around him, happily married dad-of-one Carl Scutt appeared to have an idyllic life.

A CV writer and career coach, the 34-year-old was the man who showed others how to get their lives back on track.

But underneath the surface, Carl harboured a desperate secret, a rapidly developing eating disorder which saw him seek out huge amounts of snacks
which left him ‘caught in a storm of cravings and shame’.

Now the Glossop man has spoken of his experience of years of struggling with binge eating and has thanked a local mental health service for changing his life.

“I’ve always used food for comfort, but things began to get out of control,” he said. “Somewhere along the line, my brain had learned food soothes.

“My habits were worst when I was working at home on my own or stressed.
“It would start with a single, harmless thought and before I knew it, I was caught in a storm of cravings and shame.”

Carl added: “I’d go to the shop, buy way too much food, put the TV on and eat it all. “I’d often feel so ill the rest of the day would be a write off.

“I’d pay for the food using a separate bank account and hide the packaging, so my wife didn’t know. “What looked like a snack run from the outside was a desperate attempt to calm the chaos inside me.

“But instead of peace, I was left with guilt, self-loathing, and the cycle beginning all over again.” The turning point for Carl came in 2021 when he researched eating disorders and spoke to his GP but he said no one was able to offer the right support at that time.

“Initially I went down the road of private therapy, which built my confidence and self-compassion,” he said. “I went back to my GP in 2024, who referred me to living well Tameside and the adult eating disorder service.”

Carl began working with Katie Holland, a mental health and wellbeing practitioner from living well Tameside. Meeting weekly with Carl, she helped him understand binge eating and how behaviours, thoughts and emotions are linked.

Carl said: “Working with Katie built on the skills I’d learned during private therapy.

“The therapy with Katie was behavioural focused, taking the emotion out of eating, changing habits and disrupting patterns. “I tried lots of different things, some worked, some didn’t.

“Small changes that really helped were putting a break between eating and the next task and having a walk around the block after a meal. “This gave me a break from sitting there and reminded me I’m part of a bigger world and society; even in foul weather it was surprisingly refreshing.”

Carl is now building upon this progress with support from Greater Manchester Mental Health NHS Foundation Trust (GMMH)’s eating disorder service.
He said: “I’m now working with the eating disorders unit, chipping away at my deeper underlying issues around body image.

“I’m about halfway through my work with them. “I’m no longer binge eating and it’s becoming more natural.

“I’ve seen a real shift in the past few weeks, and I feel really close to full recovery. “I’ve even set myself the challenge of walking 100km for eating disorder charity Beat.

“They helped me when I needed it most and I want to give something back.”
Katie Holland, mental health and wellbeing practitioner said: “It’s been a real privilege to support Carl.

“His honesty, commitment and willingness to try new approaches have been central to the progress he’s made. “We worked together to develop practical tools that helped him break unhelpful patterns and regain control.

“It was incredibly rewarding to have played a part in helping Carl build the confidence and skills to move forward and connect with further support.”
More information about the adult eating disorders service, provided by Greater Manchester Mental Health NHS Foundation Trust, is available
at www.gmmh.nhs.uk/eating-disorder-service/.

Advice about eating disorders is available at www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/.

Carl’s fundraising page for is walking challenge is at https://www.justgiving.com/page/carl-scutt-iow?.