“He poisoned my dogs and threatened to hurt my family”

A Tameside mother has spoken of the “terrifying” ordeal she endured at the hands of an abusive ex-partner, as she supports a new campaign to raise awareness of stalking and harassment.

The mum-of-three, who has asked to remain anonymous for her safety, says she lived in constant fear after ending the relationship, during which her former boyfriend poisoned her dogs, threatened to kill her and harm her children, and subjected her to relentless stalking.

She is sharing her experience as part of Tameside Council’s Sitting Right With You domestic abuse awareness campaign, launching this week (March 16), which shines a spotlight on stalking and harassment.

In 2025 alone, there were 3,443 reported incidents of stalking and harassment in Tameside. Of those, 191 were repeat incidents, with 67% of victim’s female and 33% male.

Speaking about her experience, the 49-year-old survivor said she initially had no idea she was being subjected to coercive control.

“I didn’t have a clue I was being stalked or coerced before I ended the relationship,” she said. “But looking back, there were lots of red flags which I wish I had paid more attention to.”

After separating from the father of her children, she turned to online dating when they were older.

“I felt it was the right time to do something for me,” she explained. “I connected with this man almost right away. He seemed perfect – open, attentive and charming. But even then, there were signs. He seemed to already know an awful lot about me, like he had been doing his research.”

As the relationship progressed, his behaviour became increasingly concerning.

“He started turning up at my house in the middle of the night and bringing bags of his belongings. Before I knew it, he had moved himself in,” she said. “His behaviour became coercive, jealous and controlling. He questioned me constantly, tried to control what I wore, and insulted me.”

She recalled a chilling moment during a walk in the hills. “He said very calmly, ‘I could just push you off the edge now and no one would know.’ That’s when I knew he was capable of something serious.”

Fearing for her safety, she devised a plan to create distance, asking him to move back in with his parents under the pretence of needing space due to ill health. But the abuse escalated.

“I realised he was following me everywhere,” she said. “He had put a tracker on my car and was creating fake social media accounts to monitor me.”

The situation soon turned violent.

“He came back to my house one day and said he was going to stab me to death. He started smashing things up. I screamed and neighbours called the police.”

What followed was a sustained campaign of intimidation.

“He was ringing me all day, every day. He put poison in my garden to make my dogs sick, threatened my children, tried to break into my house and blackmail me,” she said. “I was so frightened I couldn’t leave the house. I had to quit my job. I genuinely thought I was going to die.”

The ordeal reached a turning point when he attempted to lure her to meet him, claiming he would take his own life if she refused.

“I contacted the police. They found him waiting in his car with knives,” she said. “I don’t think he was planning to kill himself – I think he was planning to kill me.”

Following his arrest, she was referred to The Bridges Partnership, a domestic abuse support service in Tameside.

“It was such a relief to have support,” she said. “My caseworker helped me with practical safety planning – everything from changing my email and Wi-Fi to updating my Netflix account, as these can all be ways abusers continue to monitor you.”

Now, she is urging others to trust their instincts and seek help early.

“Don’t ignore red flags,” she said. “Trust your gut. You try to pacify them to keep yourself safe, but in doing that you let them in deeper. Even when you’re scared, you still have some power – take it back and get help.”

She also highlighted the importance of Clare’s Law, formally known as the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme, which allows individuals to request information from police about a partner’s history of abusive behaviour.

“I used Clare’s Law and found out he did have a history of domestic abuse. I wish I had done it sooner,” she said. “I would urge anyone with concerns to use it.”

Councillor Taf Sharif, Tameside Council’s Executive Member for Public Health, said: “Stalking and harassment are common features of domestic abuse, often linked to power and control. They can include obsessive behaviours such as constant communication, uninvited visits, following people and even threats to kill.

“We want anyone experiencing this – no matter their gender, age or background – to know support is available and they do not have to face it alone.”

Specialist support is available to all victims of domestic abuse in Tameside. Help can be accessed via The Bridges Partnership at www.bridgespartnership.org.uk or by calling 0800 328 0967. In an emergency, always dial 999.