“Ah, go on, go on, go on”. Mrs Doyle’s obsession with tea and cake in Father Ted was always entertaining, but I’ve read a few articles lately suggesting the nation is falling out of love with tea. Coffee has apparently replaced the humble cuppa in our affections.
I recently needed smelling salts after seeing a medium-sized jar of coffee at my parents’ local Co-op store priced north of a tenner, but a recent study from budget supermarket Aldi has found certain tea traditions are going off the boil in 2025.
Before we look at those, an interesting finding from the char research is that a whopping 78% of Brits give strict instructions when somebody offers to make them a cup of tea. I used to work with someone who insisted on the milk going in first when making a cup of tea, which is almost as offensive as a Mrs Brown’s Boys DVD box set. Different rules apply to making a pot of tea, but if you don’t pour the water, stew it around for several minutes, then add the milk, I’m not interested in your kitchen efforts. Almost half of those quizzed claim their colleagues are the worst at making a brew. One thing about most radio stations I’ve worked at... there are some really grim mugs in the kitchen cupboards. These days, I stick to one mug (a Christmas one, since you asked), wash it up myself, and never let anyone else drink from it. I always think of that dreadful photo of Boris Johnson offering the press a tray of tea and biscuits at his home when he was being doorstepped. There were various manky-looking mini egg mugs, and they looked about as appealing as a withered Liz Truss lettuce. There was also an amusing moment at Minster FM back in the day in York, when the Programme Director hid most of the mugs in his office, in protest at the fact nobody was placing them in the dishwasher.
Back to our beverage survey, and English breakfast is the favoured tea blend for 67% of those questioned. It’s cute that Lancashire Tea exists (everyone loves a trier), but it has to be Yorkshire Tea for me. I’m keen to try their new cherry bakewell variety, and will be reporting back on my scientific research in due course. A cuppa can make most things feel better, and brings people together. I also recommend shortbread tea from Marks & Sparks. I once tried brussels sprout tea, and it was the worst thing I’ve ever put in my mouth.
The items that are dying out and falling out of favour, in reverse order...
10 - Dunking biscuits - surely this fine tradition is alive and well? I recommend a Biscoff for dunking, but only for a couple of seconds.
9 - Cow’s milk - everything from oats to peas can apparently now be milked. Joking aside, I quite like oat milk, and have no issue with it. But not sure about pea milk.
8 - Sugar in your tea - gone are the days of bowls with cubes of sugar stained with splashes of brown. Delightful sight.
7 - China cups - only brought out of the cupboard for special visitors.
6 - Milk and two sugars - this survey isn’t good for the sweet-toothed, seemingly.
5 - Using tea leaves and strainers - all sounds a bit fiddly to me.
4 - Teapots - Mrs Doyle would be horrified at them disappearing from kitchens.
3 - Sugar lumps in a small bowl - oh dear... sugar seems to be about as popular as a Government review of Pip payments.
2 - Teasmades - always makes me think of Bullseye and their famous prize board.
1 - Tea cosies - The first documented tea cosy dates from 1867, although they probably go back even further. They look pretty, but appear to have gone the same way as the knitted loo-roll cover and the avocado bathroom suite. Shame. Jane Pettigrew, author of World of Tea, told Country Life back in 2019: “The reason for the disappearance of the tea cosy is that few people today brew their tea in a teapot, instead simply throwing a tea bag into a mug or cup”. New teapots, like the one I use, are pretty small too, so perhaps don’t require keeping warmer for longer by a tea cosy. There are plenty still for sale on Amazon and at independent shops on the high street, so maybe they’ll make a comeback, along with the furry dice and stick-on Garfield I used to love having in my car.
Alex Cann's weekly blog - 9th January
