Tameside Foster Carer’s only regret is not fostering sooner

Foster carer Dave Atkins has fostered over 70 teenage boys over a period of 35 years and as a result has built his own fostering family.

Dave Atkins, 77, who lives in Audenshaw is a single male, who up until a couple of years ago worked full-time running his own joinery business whilst fostering for Tameside Council full-time.

He wanted to tell his story to highlight national Foster Care Fortnight (12 to 25 May), which raises awareness of the impact of foster care and inspire others to consider fostering, whilst taking the time to thank and acknowledge the passion and dedication of local foster carers.

This year’s theme is ‘the power of relationships,’ this campaign is organised by The Fostering Network and supported by the council, which is in need of more foster carers to provide stable, loving homes for local children and young people in care.

Dave explained how in the beginning fostering had never even crossed his mind until he began supporting a young boy who worked a Saturday job at Dave’s DIY shop and had been fostered up until the age of 16 years old.

Later, Dave discovered that this young boy had been living in a derelict house over Christmas and insisted on offering him a job full-time and training him as a joiner.

After working together for a while, both Dave and the young boy heard a fostering advert, which triggered the boy to question Dave about why he’d never considered it.

Dave said: “This made me think about it because the lad said ‘where would I be without you?’ I was worried and said I can’t because I’m a single male, but I saw another advert after that and thought why not I’ll go for it, I’ve got nothing to lose.”

Dave added: “It was the best decision I’d ever made in my life, and I’ve really enjoyed it, I’ve had some fantastic characters. Even those that have been a bit troublesome, they all have good points, and we all keep in touch.

“The time I’ve done it, over 30 years it’s flown by so fast, and I thought well when it goes by so fast it shows you really enjoy the job.

“You get one or two problems but that’s part of life, you get challenges in everything you do, it would be boring if you didn’t have a challenge? Once you’ve solved the problem it helps you bond too.”

When asked about how Dave dealt with the challenges he has faced he spoke about how his powerful relationships have been his main source of support: “I always look back, I had fantastic parents, and I look back on any problems and think what would they have done?

“And if I didn’t find the answer there, we have fantastic social workers, who I can phone and ask for help. I’ve never been left alone with any problem, and we’ve got through it as a team - they’ve been fantastic!

“Our fostering family is a great community and there’s always someone there that’s had a similar problem to you have, as other foster carers have lent on me for support when they’ve had problems.”

Dave currently doesn’t have any fostering placements as he’s supporting one young person who is 18+ on a Staying Put arrangement providing advice and guidance rather than foster care.

Staying Put is for young people who have been fostered and at the age of 18 remain with the foster carers up to the age of 21 years.

Dave is also supporting two males who he has previously fostered and needed additional support later in life, who he mentioned had gone on holiday together.

Dave said: “That is the most incredible things of all the lads I’ve had here they’ve come from different backgrounds and different cultures and they’ve got on so well together.

“They all help each other; I’ve built my own family unit over the years and I’m so proud of every one of them for what they’ve done.”

Dave chose to foster teenage boys as he wanted to continue to run his business full-time, so this arrangement suited his lifestyle, schedule, and environment.

Dave explained: “I keep in touch with the majority of the lads I’ve fostered, one rang me up the other day who I’d not heard from in years and told me how he incorporates everything I taught him into his life with his four children and partner now.

“My first placement I’m still in regular touch with and he’s got a young daughter now, who I call ‘my little princess’. I also taught him to be a joiner, and he’s now got his own successful business.”

Even though Dave started his fostering journey as a single male with no biological children of his own he is now known as, ‘dad’, ‘uncle’, ‘godparent’ and ‘grandad’.

Dave said: “It’s so rewarding, as I helped them as teenagers and now they’re coming back to me and helping me as adults, one lad even came back to fix my roof and wouldn’t take a penny for it! Indirectly though they’ve all helped me so much they’ve turned my life around.”

To anyone considering fostering or asking a question Dave said: “My fostering days are sadly coming to an end, but my only regret is I didn’t start earlier. You won’t lose anything by making an enquiry, go for it and it might be, like me, the best decision you’ve ever made, and I really mean that.”

Dave rounded off his fostering journey story by saying: “There’s something every day that makes me proud of what they’ve done, and the greatest thing is seeing them smiling.”

Anyone can foster so long as applicants are 21 years or older, have a spare room and can offer a safe and loving home.

Fostering can be flexible as there are various fostering opportunities to suit different schedules and lifestyles. Types of fostering can include short-term, long-term, specialist, emergency and respite fostering.

Tameside Council’s Executive Member for Children’s and Families, Cllr Teresa Smith said: “I’d firstly like to start off by expressing how thankful I am to Dave for telling his own personal fostering journey in order to inspire others to be the difference to the lives of local children and young people.

“Dave has clearly done such a wonderful job of supporting the teenagers he’s cared for as the relationships he’s built over the years are so powerful that they’re bonded for life.

“Dave’s story also goes to show how you don’t need to change your lifestyle or schedule to foster – it can be flexible, so if you’ve got a burning question why not call up or drop an email and ask?”

Anyone who has been inspired to enquire by Dave’s story please get in touch by calling 0300 303 0321 or email enquire@fosterforgm.com or visit www.fosterforgm.com/tameside