Maternal mental health week - mental health service helps Hayley to build a better bond with baby

This week (5-11 May) is maternal mental health week and mental health awareness week follows on next week (12-18 May). Tameside and Glossop early attachment service can help new and expectant parents to build healthy relationships with their baby.

A parent from Tameside has praised an NHS mental health service for helping to ease her anxieties about motherhood and build a healthy relationship with her son.

Hayley was referred to Tameside and Glossop early attachment service, run by Pennine Care NHS Foundation Trust, after facing challenges when she discovered she was pregnant. 

Hayley explains: “I was having a rough time acknowledging I was pregnant and coming to terms with being pregnant, as it wasn’t on my ‘to do’ list, so to speak. I was very anxious. 

“We weren’t sure if the pregnancy was going to be viable which set off all sorts of guilty feelings – not knowing from one appointment to the next what was going to happen.” 

After Hayley’s 12-week scan revealed potential complications, she spoke to the hospital consultant about her anxieties about being pregnant. 

"He offered me either anti-depressants or talking therapy. I took the talking option, and I was referred to specialist midwife, who suggested making a referral to Tameside and Glossop early attachment service," Hayley shares. 

Hayley met with a therapist from the early attachment service and decided that psychotherapy would be beneficial, with a choice of online or face-to-face visits to fit around her working life and other commitments. 

Hayley said: “In the antenatal period, our sessions were face-to-face in a clinic. When my baby was born, the sessions moved to my home. Nobody talks about the hard stuff of being a new mother and being at home and how tough it is. 

“It was helpful to have regular sessions after my baby was born to talk about some of my irrational fears and anxieties," she says.

Hayley believes that the therapy sessions have significantly improved her relationship with her baby. "Talking to the therapist before [her son] was born helped me to work some things out and has helped me to be a calmer mum.

“The parent and baby therapy sessions since he was born have helped me to be a more patient mum, to work out what he might be thinking and feeling, so I can think about how to meet his needs," she adds.

Thanks to her experiences, Hayley encourages other parents in similar situations to seek professional help.

"I would advise talking it out with a professional in a safe and confidential space. It’s scary living in your head. I cried so much.

“Weirdly, talking to family and friends doesn’t always help – everyone has an opinion or a story – when you are living with so many fears in your head, that doesn’t always help. I never once felt judged in sessions."

She explains: "Having the conversations we had in therapy sessions made me feel like I’m not the only one. It can feel lonely to think you’re the only one having difficulties bonding with your baby.

“For me, talking through your feelings seems like the best way to get through it. There is something about voicing your fears out loud that helps them feel less scary and helps you to make sense of your feelings.

“I think it would be so much more helpful if mothers could feel OK to talk about how difficult it is being a mum, rather than feeling you must keep up this glossy appearance of everything seeming perfect. That’s just not how it is for a lot of parents."

Tameside and Glossop Early Attachment Service can support you to build a healthy relationship with your baby or young child. They can help during pregnancy and up to until your child is five years old.

Sarah Fox, child and adolescent psychotherapist, said: "At Tameside and Glossop early attachment service, we understand that the journey into motherhood can be filled with unexpected challenges and emotional complexities.

“Our goal is to provide a safe and supportive environment where mums like Hayley can openly discuss their fears and anxieties without judgment.

“We can offer therapy session from the antenatal period up to a child’s fifth birthday. These take place with parents and their young children with the focus on their relationship. Therapy sessions can be helpful for parents in supporting them to build a healthy relationship with their baby, which is vital for a baby’s future wellbeing and development.”

For more information about the service, visit: https://www.penninecare.nhs.uk/tameside-and-glossop-eas